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One subtle but pervasive human flaw is the tendency to judge others using our own achievements as the standard. This often happens unconsciously, yet it is highly visible—particularly on social media—where judgment has become casual, constant and, in many cases, cruel.
A closer look at everyday commentary online reveals a pattern: people frequently assess others based on what they themselves have attained, especially by a certain age. A 30-year-old man who owns a car or property may confidently declare that “by 30, a man should be driving and own a home.” Similarly, a woman who is married with children by that age may insist that marriage and motherhood are mandatory milestones for all women in their thirties. In making such statements, individuals forget that life paths differ widely and that personal achievements are shaped by circumstances, opportunities and choices that are far from universal.
This mindset extends beyond age and marital status. Some people measure worth by travel history, openly dismissing those without passports or visas as inexperienced or inferior. Others judge social standing by material possessions—such as owning a particular smartphone—while assuming that those without them are of a lower class. In religious spaces, personal convictions can become a tool for judgment, with individuals aggressively promoting their beliefs and measuring others’ morality or enlightenment against their own faith choices.
Ironically, those who judge most harshly often react with anger when the same standards are applied to them. A successful professional in their thirties may bristle at questions about marriage, arguing that marriage is “not for everyone.” Yet the same individual may readily criticise a married peer who has not achieved similar financial or career success. The contradiction is striking.
Cultural judgment also plays a role. For instance, some Banyankore mock Baganda for dancing at introduction ceremonies, simply because their own traditions favour a more reserved approach. In doing so, they attempt to impose their cultural norms on others, forgetting that celebration and joy are expressed differently across communities.
At the heart of this behaviour is a failure to recognise that personal experience is not a universal template. What feels “normal” or “right” to one person is often just what they are accustomed to—not an objective measure of success, morality or maturity.
Perhaps the most troubling aspect is that many people are unaware of this bias. They use their own milestones as a yardstick for judging others, yet feel offended when that same yardstick is turned against them. It is a paradox that reflects both human insecurity and a lack of empathy.
Being human, it seems, is indeed a difficult job. But a little self-awareness could go a long way. Recognising that our achievements are personal—not prescriptive—may help foster a society that is less judgmental and more understanding of the many valid ways to live a meaningful life.
