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One of the most entrenched survival strategies in Uganda today is people-pleasing. It is visible in public offices, political corridors, and elite social circles, especially around members of the first family and individuals who wield real power. In these spaces, influence is often sustained not by competence or integrity, but by the ability to flatter, submit, and perform loyalty—sometimes to disturbing extremes.
A casual observer will notice a familiar pattern: individuals who have built entire careers on pleasing superiors rather than serving institutions or citizens. Many rise rapidly despite limited skill or merit, rewarded with appointments, luxury vehicles, and access to affluent neighbourhoods. The transactional nature of this arrangement is rarely hidden, and its moral implications are often ignored. The objective is not excellence, but proximity to power. This culture is corrosive.
People-pleasing erodes professional standards and hollows out institutions. When advancement depends on flattery rather than performance, mediocrity thrives while competence is sidelined. The state begins to resemble a private estate, staffed by courtiers instead of public servants. Over time, policy quality declines, accountability disappears, and public trust collapses. Yet the cost is not only institutional—it is deeply personal.
The tragedy of people-pleasing is that it strips individuals of self-respect. In the process of seeking approval, one surrenders dignity. And paradoxically, the very people one seeks to impress eventually lose respect for them. Power rarely admires submission. It tolerates it, exploits it, and ultimately looks down on it. What may be gained materially is often lost morally.
There is a quiet violence in this dynamic. People-pleasers live in constant self-censorship, adjusting their principles to suit moods above them. They cannot speak truth to power because their survival depends on silence or applause. They become skilled at sensing what those in authority want to hear—and saying exactly that, regardless of truth or consequence.
Personally, this is a path I cannot take. I have always found flattery distasteful and intellectually dishonest. Throughout my life, I have preferred the company of people who speak plainly, challenge ideas, and value honesty over approval. Such individuals are often uncomfortable to power, but they are essential to any society that hopes to grow.
Ironically, in a culture dominated by people-pleasing, those who refuse to flatter are quickly labelled “proud.” Independence of thought is mistaken for arrogance; integrity is reframed as defiance. Yet pride is not the refusal to kneel—it is the refusal to think.
Uganda’s future cannot be built on a culture of appeasement. Nations progress when institutions reward competence, not compliance; when leaders value counsel, not praise; and when citizens understand that dignity is not a luxury, but a foundation of public life.
People-pleasing may offer short-term comfort and access, but in the long run, it impoverishes both the individual and the nation. The price of silence is always higher than it first appears.
Torch Media Africa
