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The phrase “Stop pulling a fellow woman down” has become common in conversations about gender and solidarity. But have you ever paused to think about what it really implies? Objectively, it sounds as if offending a man is somehow more acceptable than offending a woman. Yet, an offense is an offense, regardless of the gender of the person being targeted. We inherit certain phrases and start repeating them without questioning their meaning. But if we are serious about fairness, why not say instead, “Stop pulling anyone down”? It’s simple, inclusive, and just makes sense.
I was reminded of this last year on social media when a Facebook friend, Linda—a lawyer at the time—tagged me in a post that criticized men. I don’t recall the exact topic now, because she blocked me soon after our exchange. I am not against feminism, but I am against what I call man-hate, a trend that has taken root among some so-called Ugandan feminists.
When I attempted to provide a balanced perspective, the conversation quickly turned hostile. Abuses replaced reasoned debate. I brought up examples from international headlines: Bill Cosby, incarcerated for sexual assault, and Cardi B, who admitted to drugging and robbing clients when she was trying to survive as a hustler. To some feminists I engaged with, Cardi B’s actions were excusable, while Cosby’s deserved severe punishment. Context mattered only when it aligned with their narrative.
Even more disturbing, any woman who dared defend men in the comments was silenced—her voice deleted. To these self-proclaimed feminists, a woman defending a man was unacceptable, no matter the facts or the morality of the situation.
This obsession with gender-based judgment ignores basic principles of fairness. Nature and nurture shape character, yes—but individuals should be judged for their actions, not condemned based on their gender. Being hurt by one man does not justify blaming all men. Just as being wronged by one woman does not justify attacking all women.
Imagine if we approached life objectively, without picking sides purely based on gender. We could reduce conflicts, encourage meaningful dialogue, and build a society where justice is personal, not partisan.
Dear women, stop pulling each other down. Better yet, let’s stop pulling anyone down—because fairness, respect, and accountability should have no gender.
Torch Media Africa
