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By Ayella Amuru
My office friends often engage me in conversations that usually lead to similar conclusions.
Office Friend: Why are you such a nihilist who doesn’t seem to care about much?
Me: I’m not sure if I qualify as a nihilist because I do enjoy life. I take immense delight in savoring a glass of red wine with steak, and I enjoy the company of women. The only thing I don’t particularly like is traveling, mainly because airport bureaucracy annoys me—I only travel when it’s absolutely necessary. Otherwise, I don’t attach serious meaning to my actions. Even when I help people, I don’t see a purpose in it.
Office Friend: Despite your apparent lack of purpose, you have deep compassion for others, especially those who are suffering. I’ve seen you help strangers regularly. Why do you do these things?
Me: I believe that concepts like compassion, love, kindness, and other emotions are just words. We use them to create a sense of purpose. While these words may trigger feelings, there’s no inherent meaning to those feelings—they are merely constructs. Reality itself is nonverbal.
Office Friend: Do you believe in God?
Me: If by "God" you mean an entity with supernatural powers controlling our lives or the universe, my answer is no—I don’t believe in God. Belief is inseparable from the believer, just as Christianity is inseparable from Christians. This means that what we call "God" is simply knowledge. When people claim to worship God, they’re really worshiping their knowledge about God.
I have a friend who was Catholic, but after a severe road accident five years ago, he lost his memory entirely—he even forgot who God was or how to pray. Knowledge, whether spiritual or technical, is merely memory. And what you call a "human being" is simply an amalgamation of memories.
Office Friend: What is your opinion of pastors, religious leaders, or spiritual guides?
Me: I have nothing against them. It’s not their fault. All systems of manipulation rely on reward and punishment. When you desire something or are desperate for an outcome, you become susceptible to manipulation.
For instance, if you desire heaven, you become a customer for whoever can sell you the idea of heaven. If you’re desperate for money, you might fall victim to a Ponzi scheme. That’s how it works. The fault doesn’t lie with pastors or spiritual leaders; it lies in the human tendency to pursue. It’s this pursuit that makes people vulnerable to those who promise to fulfill their desires.
Office Friend: What do you think happens to us when we die?
Me: What you cannot experience does not exist. No one has ever experienced their own birth or death. At birth, there is no "self," and at death, there is no "self." The "self" is a product of society, which gives you a name and instills knowledge through language, books, and culture to ensure its continuity.
In essence, life and death are similar in their lack of inherent meaning or purpose. The universe is a dance of energy, and what we call life and death is simply a transfer of energy from one state to another. The fear of death stems from the ego’s fear of fading into nothingness. But both ego and persona are societal constructs, whereas the body is a creation of nature’s complex processes.
Office Friend: Do you believe in happiness?
Me: What is happiness? Usually, it’s the feeling we associate with getting what we want, while sadness is tied to not getting what we want. A truly happy person doesn’t actively seek happiness—it’s impossible to pursue what you already have. You only seek happiness if you think you’re unhappy.
Office Friend: Do you believe in anything?
Me: My belief is that I have no beliefs. Why should I? Beliefs are simply forms of knowledge to which we’re strongly attached. Let’s end the conversation here because even this discussion serves no purpose—it won’t lead anywhere. These are just words. Go live your life.
Office Friend: One last question: Do you believe in good and evil?
Me: No, I don’t. What we call "good" is simply what benefits us, and "bad" is what harms us. For example, we celebrate births and mourn deaths, but logically, what is born must die—there’s no escape from that. If you don’t want death, don’t have children.
Death is as necessary as birth. There’s no such thing as good or evil, only actions taken for survival. Consider an earthquake that wipes out 10,000 people—it’s neither good nor evil. It’s the same nature that provides us with oxygen to survive.
Human beings kill for ideas because we perceive certain ideas as threats to survival. Religion, economics, traditions, and even science are just ideas—none of them are absolute.
At this point, I had to excuse myself. My office friend wasn’t ready to conclude, but there’s no point in endless talk. It’s all just words.
