Written By | Relationship Experts
How long foreplay should last largely depends on a partner’s preferences, comfort, and communication—something counsellors say is still lacking in many relationships.
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If you went for a morning jog around your village or neighbourhood without stretching first, you would hardly be surprised if you pulled a muscle. The same principle applies to intimacy, yet many people still treat foreplay as optional. In many Ugandan homes, conversations about intimacy remain private or even taboo, but relationship experts say ignoring foreplay can be one of the main reasons couples struggle to fully enjoy their sexual relationships.
Foreplay is often mistaken as a brief activity meant to be rushed through before intercourse. Experts liken this to suddenly breaking into a sprint before warming up—one partner may reach satisfaction quickly, while the other is left far behind. This mismatch, according to sexual health experts, contributes to what is commonly referred to as the “orgasm gap” between men and women.
Understanding how much time to spend on your partner’s pleasure is therefore key to improving intimacy, trust, and satisfaction in relationships. For couples who feel their love life is not going as planned, experts suggest spending more time “warming up” before sex.
How long foreplay should last largely depends on a partner’s preferences, comfort, and communication—something counsellors say is still lacking in many relationships.
Experts also encourage couples to explore different ways of connecting during foreplay, such as slowing down, maintaining eye contact, communicating openly, or practising calm breathing together
Certified sex and relationship coach Gemma Nice explains that biological differences also play a role.
“Men can usually climax in around five to seven minutes, whereas it typically takes women anywhere between 20 and 30 minutes,” she explains.
Because of this, experts recommend that couples spend at least 15 to 20 minutes on foreplay to allow both partners to become fully aroused.
With men often becoming ready sooner, it is important that foreplay is mutual and focused on ensuring both partners feel comfortable, relaxed, and emotionally connected. For women, this process also helps the body respond naturally, making intimacy more enjoyable and less uncomfortable.
Beyond physical readiness, taking time with each other helps couples relax, build trust, and deepen emotional bonds—an important factor in long-term relationships and marriages.
“The longer you’re engaged in foreplay, the more relaxed and responsive the body becomes,” Nice explains. “When the body is calm, blood flows more freely, allowing nerve endings to become more sensitive. This leads to greater overall satisfaction for both partners.”
Experts also encourage couples to explore different ways of connecting during foreplay, such as slowing down, maintaining eye contact, communicating openly, or practising calm breathing together. These approaches can help extend intimacy without pressure.
Relationship counsellors note that spending this extra time together does not only improve intimacy in the bedroom but can also reduce stress, tension, and misunderstandings within relationships—an issue many Ugandan couples face due to economic pressure and busy daily routines.
Ultimately, experts agree that foreplay is not a luxury but an essential part of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Torch Media Africa
