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I’ve been in a hotel for a week, avoiding her calls. I’ve decided to work remotely from here until I figure out what to do
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Dear Readers,
I need your advice. I ran away from my own home.
Let me explain. I got married in 2023, and we initially lived in Mukono. However, in 2024, I was transferred to Kampala for work. Now, my wife and I are expecting a baby soon—a joyful milestone. But what should have been a happy chapter has turned into an overwhelming situation due to the constant influx of her relatives into our home.
How It Started
After our white wedding, my wife suggested that her younger sister—who had just finished secondary school—move in with us. I agreed, thinking it would be temporary. Seven months later, her brother came to Kampala for a job interview. When he didn’t get the job, my wife pleaded for him to stay with us while he looked for work. Again, I agreed because I genuinely like him.
Then, last year, her father fell ill. My wife, being pregnant, couldn’t travel to care for him, so she asked if he could come to Kampala instead. I consented. But to my surprise, he arrived with her mother—without prior discussion. I stayed silent, keeping this from my own family to avoid conflict.
The financial and emotional strain
Between hospital registrations and lab tests, I’ve spent over 1,800,000 UGX—not including medication. I bore the costs without complaint, believing it was my duty to support my wife’s family.
But the breaking point came recently. After a six-month work trip to Saudi Arabia, I returned home to find her elder brother, his wife, and their three children living in our house. When I finally asked my wife why they were there, she explained they had "accommodation problems." She then asked me for money to pay their rent elsewhere.
The final straw
Two weeks later, I overheard her giving our address to her aunt—a single mother—who was coming to visit for a month with her two children. That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I dressed quickly, pretended I needed to get my car aligned, and left. As I write this, I’ve been in a hotel for a week, avoiding her calls. I’ve decided to work remotely from here until I figure out what to do.
Seeking your advice
I love my wife, but I feel like our home has become a hostel for her extended family—without my consent or consideration for my boundaries. Financially and emotionally, I’m drained.
Have any of you faced a similar situation? How did you handle it? Should I set firm boundaries, seek counseling, or is there another approach I’m missing?
Your insights would mean a lot.
