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Cases of fondling among students in secondary schools should concern every parent. Some learners engage in such acts without fully understanding the consequences, while others disregard school rules because they believe they are old enough to make their own decisions. When such behaviour is discovered, the consequences may include suspension or even expulsion.
But before blaming students and schools, parents need to ask themselves whether they are doing enough to guide their children.
Adolescence comes with many changes. At this stage, learners begin developing romantic feelings and may become curious about physical intimacy. While these feelings are a normal part of growing up, children need guidance on how to manage them responsibly. Without proper guidance, some may engage in behaviour that puts their education and future at risk.
The problem is that some parents have left almost everything to schools. They believe that once they have paid school fees and provided the necessary requirements, their responsibility is fulfilled. They expect teachers to educate their children not only in academic subjects but also in discipline, respect and morals.
How can parents expect schools to take full responsibility for teaching their children morals when learners spend only part of their day at school? Teachers have many students to attend to, lessons to prepare and school rules to enforce. They cannot be expected to assume the full responsibilities of parenting.
A child's behaviour should first be shaped at home. Parents need to talk to their children about growing up, relationships, personal boundaries and respect for other people's bodies. These conversations should take place before problems arise, not after parents receive summonses from schools over their children's misconduct.
When parents fail to provide this guidance, learners often turn to their peers for advice. Yet their friends may also be struggling to understand the same changes. Instead of correcting one another, they may encourage behaviour that eventually gets them into trouble.
Another challenge is that some students believe they know everything. They consider themselves adults and become unwilling to listen to advice from teachers or parents. They see school rules as restrictions rather than guidelines intended to protect them. When warned against inappropriate behaviour, they may ignore the warnings until they face disciplinary action.
Fondling is not an issue schools should take lightly, particularly when it involves coercion, a lack of consent or violations of another learner's personal boundaries. Students must understand that having a boyfriend or girlfriend does not give them permission to touch another person's body without consent. They also need to understand that their actions have consequences.
When suspension or expulsion follows, the learner bears the immediate consequences. Parents may feel disappointed, and schools may face criticism, but the student risks losing valuable learning time. Some of these consequences can be avoided through early intervention, appropriate counselling and cooperation between parents and teachers.
Of course, schools must maintain discipline. They have a duty to protect learners and ensure that students follow established rules. However, parents should not wait for schools to report a problem before becoming actively involved in their children's lives.
Being a parent means more than providing food, clothing and school fees. It means understanding what your child is going through, listening to them and correcting them when necessary. Children may not always welcome advice, especially when they believe they know better, but that should not discourage parents from guiding them.
Lost learning time can be difficult to recover. A student who is suspended or expelled may struggle academically and face setbacks in their education. Parents should therefore take their responsibility to guide their children seriously while there is still time to prevent avoidable mistakes.
We cannot continue expecting schools to do everything while parents remain on the sidelines. Teachers can educate learners, provide guidance and enforce discipline, but they cannot replace parents in their children's lives.
If we want to reduce incidents of inappropriate touching in schools, the responsibility must be shared. Schools must enforce their rules fairly, students must learn to respect personal boundaries and consent, and parents must stop leaving the entire burden of raising their children to teachers.
The foundation begins at home.